Heart & Soul

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-11-23T20:55:00

2005-11-24T01:59:05Z

i wouldn't need a hero if i wasn't such a zero

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-07-06T00:13:00

2005-07-06T04:35:58Z

No matter how much you think you love somebody,
you'll step back when the pool of their blood
edges up too close.

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-05-31T19:41:00

2005-05-31T23:44:04Z

shut up, i just wanted to post this thingy and my other jorunal is friends only so im doing it here. last one in this journal, promise. i hope. :)

Post a comment on anything that you want, and post it anonymously.
It can be anything.
A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love - anything.
Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like.
Then, put this in your journal to see what your friends have to say.

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-05-29T22:27:00

2005-05-30T02:35:07Z

NEW ELJAY

i am currently unsatisfied with this lj so i have created a new one that i will begin using soon (i think). its going to be friends only and hopefully a lot more interesting than this one. please add. (this is a big step cause i am not one who embraces change)

_idiotkid

<3 lots of love

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-05-28T22:58:00

2005-05-29T03:06:44Z

lalalalala, today went quite well actually.
worked 830-230, not bad.
they are cutting off a lot of my hours though.
after work i came home and searched for people to hang out with.
ended up going to the eyw show with jimmie and it was hella fun.
raided au bon pain after and then played some sick pool.
all in all a good night i have to say.
definitely gotta hang out again jimmie, mos def.
now im home and not very tired.
maybe ill go read.
or maybe ill just sit here.
who knows.

not working tomorrow...plan me up bitchezzzzzz!

night ♥

PS. jimmie tell you dad im sorry for hitting his car, really!

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-05-27T21:52:00

2005-05-28T01:59:15Z

doot doot doot
school was alright.
seniors last day=hardly any work
but i will miss them all
mall tonight with kasey
i bought a skirt which i WILL wear
ran into the PWG, good times
bought a lot of stuff
working morning tomorrow, finally!
maybe going to jesses show after (probably)
bought really cool bowie and pumpkins photos at the mall little expo thingies (?)
im a little tired
i really want to finish 'trainspotting'
but i fall asleep after like 20 minutes of reading
thats all for now i suppose
leave me comments bitches!

<3

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-05-26T20:41:00

2005-05-27T00:47:47Z

rawr. today was neat-o.
school. blah.
im gonna be sad when the seniors leave
i dont do well with change
i am the new editor-in-cheif of the sentinel
me an megan pretty much went to see star wars today just because hayden christensen is insanely hot. 2 and a half hours of him, it just wasnt long enough. yum.
then after we went to unos and h&m and paraded around like losers(at least me anyway), good times.
now im pretty bored.
nothing to do tomorrow, stinkkkkkkkkkk.
i guess im done.

HEARTS

night

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-05-25T21:42:00

2005-05-26T01:54:10Z

i am such a jealous person.
the dasani water w/ raspberry is amazing
its really sucky outside
im thinking about removing my lip ring
the "drop pounds you fatty" diet is going well
someone needs to be my BFfL! (hehe)
reading other people's journals about how happy they are and how lucky they are make me real sad, and jealous of course.
tomorrow hanging out with megan, par-tay, durrrr.
wilma's back home to mama!
i am in severe need of a hair cut
i need something to do this weekend! friday, saturday, and sunday! make me plans damnit!!!!

thats all i think.
i should bring my camera to work, i could get some real interesting pictures.

hearts

(oh yea, and there is this lady that comes through my line every wednesday at night and buys 4 cantoloupes and 3 things of strawberries and thats it, shes also really thin and i never see her buy anything else. im worried for her cause i think thats all she eats for the week, like shes anorexic. just makes me sad and want to help, thats all.)

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-05-24T21:59:00

2005-05-25T02:10:33Z

lj is so dumb.
and yet i update all the time.
i dont get it.
i slept from 3-730 today.
yeah, i have a life.
coldness and rain makes me sad.
whether im inside or outside.
im incredibly lost in life.
i have no clue what i want.
nor do in know what i need.
so my mindless banterings on here are just me trying to sort it all out.
i would love to get all poetic and philisophical.
but im way too tired from all that sleeping.
wish me luck on my editorial for the paper.
if someone unexpirenced gets editor im done.
tonight is definitely a bright eyes night.
when i can listen to conor and feel exactly the same way he does (maybe not exactly...)
so i guess im done for now.
but i will most likely update tomorrow.
because im that cool

night.

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-05-23T20:10:00

2005-05-24T00:16:05Z

update on my life...::clears throat::
-school is almost over, yay for that
-avoiding writing my an ed. for the paper
-doctors today, i pretty much gained a whole lot of weight recently, so now im putting myself on a real strict diet...wish me luck.
-im writing a review of the bright eyes show for the paper and i dont give a fuck if anyone has a problem with that.
-i pretty much hate everything about myself
-i sleep way too much
-im getting really irretable lately
-someone needs to call me to hang out tomorrow

done.

fuck you.

perhaps.

:(

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-05-21T19:47:00

2005-05-21T23:51:55Z

if i grew like a foot i could have taken these, but im short so other people took them for me!

hahahahahahahahahaha! sorry tyler, but i had to. =)

great time.

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-05-21T00:24:00

2005-05-21T04:33:28Z

so pretty much bright eyes was amazing. i am really glad that tyler, carolyn, and betty came with us...we need to do that again sometime or just hang out, maybe without glenn perhaps. and again im sorry for my horrid driving, i said i wasnt a great driver.
So yea, the show. Mars Black (am i right?) really surprised me because i did not expect to see 2 big black guys on stage rapping, but it was alright, made a bunch of scene kids think they were black for a little. the faint was amazing but hard to enjoy when a zillion scene losers were dancing and making it hard to actually just take the music in.(i swear i saw about a dozen or more kids who looked exactly like jesse) then bright eyes, and it was fucking awesome. i was a little sad with the setlist, pretty much all new stuff and basically one older song, which was a suckyish one, lover i dont have to love. i got some good pictures, courtesy of tyler and glenn cause they are taller than me. the ride home was a little nervous and stuff cause i drove the wrong way down a one way street and pretty much scared everyone a whole lot, i promise im not that terrible.
So what i learned tonight. i definitely need to go to more shows. i definitely need to let someone else drive next time we go farther than 1/2 hour away. and i definitely dont feel shy anymore around carolyn, and tyler and stuff.

all in all, great night. thanks to everyone who came with me, i <3 you guys!

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-05-19T20:32:00

2005-05-20T00:42:37Z

I cannot stand my mother. She is obsessed with my life and everyone I know. It's getting out of control, she has to know everything. I mention someone once and she pretty much needs to know their whole life story. Also she is obsessed with giving me advice that is common sense and she just nags and bitches at me non stop. Uhhhhhhgggg, I am just so sick of it, why can't she be lenient and stay out of my business like other parents?
My dad is also irretating me. He keeps taking my car without any notice and breaking his, I had things to do today and what do i see when I get home, Wilma not in the driveway but his stupid car in the driveway missing 2 wheels.

...but other than that im fine i think. i made some cool art today. i found a bunch of random horse stencils online and i cut them and made like a weird horse thing on posterboard with spray paint, ill probably give it to michelle since i dont like horses.

bright eyes tomorrow you hos. my mother is obsessed with the fact im driving that far with people in the car. i told her that im taking other people and the first thing she said was "they cant smoke pot in the car"...shes effing retarded.

i guess im done. long update huh? and my life is so boring, its strange how i can stretch stuff out to be rediculously long. hm.

hearts

edit: and caitlin flaherty definitely thought Johnny Depp's name was Johnny Depth pretty much made my day.

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-05-18T21:28:00

2005-05-19T01:33:45Z

I have basically been sleeping since I got home from school. Major headache.
Thanks again Kirstyn for working for me again, this is like the 3rd Wednesday in a row or something haha.

I'm sad again. Im such a loser but I'll get over it, just stupid stuff again.

someone call me like right now? I need friends...good ones, real good ones.

<3

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-05-17T22:01:00

2005-05-18T02:09:06Z

me and alyssa's video for writing workshop came out amazing. its kinda like a comedy thing when we just act like fools in public and get peoples reaction. we dressed glenn up as a girl and paraded him around stop & shop and other stores, great reactions. then glenn and alyssa salsa danced in the middle of the friendlys lot. excellent time. (the best part is when he was in drag and a guy pulled up beside him and asked what he could get for $10)

im happy today, despite having a headache. what makes me even more happy is that bright eyes is on friday! yippee!

comments!
♥

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-05-16T22:23:00

2005-05-17T02:29:35Z

today was cool.
in english i was pretty much the best actor ever with my death scene and then me squirming around on the ground for like 5 minutes after.
then work. then i was dumb and told stalker i would go to the beach after work so i called glenn to come along. was pretty fun, took pictures, post later.
got home at 10, now im online, whats new right?
bright eyes friday! im jazzed. looks like ill be driving tyler, betty and possibly amanda too, which is SO much better than just me and glenn.
im in a pretty happy mood right now, and it feels good!
lately, well for a while, i have been really sad and stuff so it feels good to have a good day for a change.
bed time soon.
night!

♥

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-05-15T22:05:00

2005-05-16T02:15:27Z

today was good until i managed to stick an exacto blade half way through my finger, then it kinda sucked. but it was good until then.

i basically hung out with glenn all weekend. which was pretty cool. we got lost in plymouth today and my gas tank was on E, so that was a little exciting.
im pretty much excited for bright eyes friday, like you wouldnt believe.

i dont think i have anything somewhat meaningful to write tonight, at least in livejournal.

i need a somebody who will make me feel like a somebody.

i sure hope you all had a lovely weekend.

<3

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-05-13T22:58:00

2005-05-14T03:12:27Z

uh well, today worked till 9, which was lame. then went to friendlys with glenn and ate food and stuff.

i took pictures of the day kinda. so here they are.

pre calc long block. glenn and alyssa

glenn likes pictures too much

definitely

heather tries to work and ignore him

everyone hates me cause i stick the camera in their face

i look sick haha

charlotte. kim looks really evil in the bg

in turleys room skipping chemistry

glenn at friendlys ordering

me trying to be cool

i look really scary

dont ever let him eat mashed potatoes

end.

i <3 pictures. the camera will follow me around for now on.

comments?

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-05-12T21:44:00

2005-05-13T01:53:28Z

-i think i may becoming addicted to coffee...
-i have decided to find a new bad habit that will take the place of my current bad habit, eating junk often. if i have a new bad habit then i wont have time to eat junk all the time, get it? so i need new bad habit suggestions haha.

today was school. pretty much in a bad mood all day. although i did get a laugh when bruso sent tyler through the wall, stuff like that is always funny.
came home, alyssa came over to work on our project, not much was accomplished. we went to salvys to look for costume ideas and didnt really even look, got way off topic and stuff. she left and i went to walmart and building 19 looking for bargains, and crap to litter my room. came home, cut out some stencils i plan on using soon.

working till 9 tomorrow, kirstyn you lieddddddd!
and i want to do something after, but i dont know what.

so yea. comment and stuff.
<3

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-05-11T21:32:00

2005-05-12T01:47:04Z

what i learned today...
-eating apple pie for breakfast is always satisfying
-me wearing flip flops is apparently a big deal
-i do a really good southern accent, especially to shakespeare
-getting out of work is kinda easy
-i have a short attention span
-im developing a low tolerance level and that should stop
-i waste all my money on take-out haha
-my flowers are finally growing!
-glue does not come off a mirror
-im going to see bright eyes! and paying way too much to do so, but i dont care
-im sad when turley is mad at me
-not much rhymes with 'pout'
-and we should totally watch titanic in history

fin.
<3 ohemgeeisthataheartyesitis!

when youre looking at life, in a strange new room, maybe drowning soon, is this the start of it all?

2005-05-11T01:42:35Z

today...
-school, blah.
-guitar. i hate driving to whitman for only a 1/2 hour class.
-stores and stuff with sister, i bought nothing, miracle.
-im currently fighting off the urge to cut my own bangs, cause they are long and i get irretated.
-i actually just watched a whole movie without falling asleep, im proud.
-i made the mirror thing today, not bad. kinda plain.
-all the above mean i need a social life haha.

lately i have been down in the dumps about everything. im really trying to break out of it, it just seems silly. looking for the best in everything is hard, cause sometimes it makes me see the things that are bad more clearly. things probably aren't that bad, i guess its all in my head. i just know the things my life is lacking, and its making me sad that it continues to lack them and i dont feel like i have any control over that. like today, i was waiting for my sister at kohls and i was looking through my cell phone for someone to call cause i was bored and realized that there really wasnt anyone i could call, just made me sad i guess. people around me have such good friendships, and i dont, and i want that, probably more than anything.

:/
<3

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-05-09T21:13:00

2005-05-10T01:23:01Z

today was pretty alright.
-my face is breaking out randomly, and that isnt too fun
-school bites. although my english project was well recieved
-work wasnt bad, basically talked to jesse most of the time and hes fun to talk to (even when he does make fun of the newspaper ::raises fist::)
-i ate way too much junk food today, i feel pigish.
-my next project: stencil on to a mirror "fevers and mirrors" with spray paint. got all the stuff at walmart today, should be cool.
-my goal in the next few months and summer is to go to as many shows as possible. so if you know of one or are having one, tell me, cause ill be there.
-tomorrow i got guitar at 3 then ill prolly be bored. not that that means anything to you, but yea.

goodnightsleeptight

<3(!)

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-05-08T21:47:00

2005-05-09T01:50:26Z

-this weekend was pretty lame
-im really sick of school
-i dont think im going to bright eyes
-which makes me want to die
-all i do is nap and eat, thats it
-i made a shirt for my english project
-it looks alright
-i need to get out of my house
-i hate it here
-my mother is obsessing about college and wont get off my back
-its really pissing me off
-kill me
-i need to get out of here
-i just need someone to talk to
-and maybe to hang out with
-i need a best friend
-i really do
-i think im done now
-go to bed

</3

imsuchawhinerandimsorryforgiveme

real gone

2005-05-08T03:12:54Z

its excessively cold in my computer room. and im bored. so i took some pictures of myself to waste some time. so they are in here, along with some others i havent posted yet. look. please.

brady owns

so does bodie

shane indulges

huh?

woop.

its way past your bedtime, go to bed!

so i did

spinning in computer chair

easily distracted

omg way over my head

kay done. comments? tomorrow after work (2) ill be bored, hang out?

1bigdarkroom @ 2005-05-06T23:05:00

2005-05-07T03:10:38Z

-AP US history test today, 4 1/2 of the worst hours ever, sucked
-came home, napped from 330-7, there goes my night
-from there i decided to work on my english project while i had the time
-tomorrow SATs in the morning
-work 1-6
-then hopefully something fun cause i kinda forget what fun is like

just because everyone else is doing it...
01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie remind me of you.
03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be...
04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
08. Put this in your journal

make me plans for tomorrow or include me in some or comment or something.

you get half of a heart 3